My Journey to become Barbie Mom

Hello, My name is Taryth and I am on a journey to become a "Barbie Mom".
Before I explain what a "Barbie Mom" (BM) is, let me first tell you a little about myself.
I am a 34 year old female, happily married for almost 8 years to a man I met online.
He lived in England, I lived in Bristol PA (this is a suburb of Philadelphia).
We chatted online, then on the phone, then he flew to meet me and we got along great and well, it's now 8 years later and we're still happy.
We have a son who turns 6 next month.
We just moved to Jacksonville Florida around 3 and a half years ago and we LOVE it here!

Ok so you're wondering what a BM is right?
That's what I am about to explain right now.
Ok so you get out of the car. You open the back door and let your child out of the car and close the door. You hold their hand as you walk to the park and you see a group of them standing by the swings pushing their kids happily and chatting.
Being your somewhat nosey self you decide to listen in on their convo.
Patty flicks her blonde hair back with one of those phony sounding chuckles,
"Ah yes Jane, we'll be there. Tom just has to pick up the kids from daycare but then we can meet for brunch", she says to the tall, thin, perfectly dressed woman standing next to her, holding a baby in one hand and pushing her 2 year old on the swing with the other hand.
A woman that looks like the newest, hottest supermodel comes walking up to them...
"Oh my GOD! Shayna!!", Patty squeals as she throws her arms around her.
"Hiiiiiii how are you? Oh it's so good to see you", she answers back in an over enthusiastic voice as her 3 kids run off to play.
They then go into some low voiced giggling gibberish that I can't hear.
The 3 of them standing there look more like moviestars than mothers.
Thin, perfectly dressed, with lots of children or pregnant bellies that are perfectly round and the rest of their body is so perfect and well groomed you have to giggle to yourself as you wonder if they are just hiding their husband's bowling ball under that brand new designer shirt.

Those my friends are called Barbie Moms.
Do you want to look like that? Of COURSE you do! Who wouldn't?

I sit there with my son frowning at my obese body and rags (because fat people don't get nice clothes, we get the leftover material thrown together and overpriced)
I watch them and regret the aftertaste of the french fries I just ate for lunch.
My son asks me to play basketball with him and I shoot like 2 hoops and then sit on the bench because I can't keep up.

I was on MSN talking to my friend the other day and she was going on and on about her romantic weekend with her husband and it all hit me like a ton of bricks!
My marriage is happy, but the romance has left years ago because I'm too big for him to even hug. I asked him why we never cuddle, but when we tried, I wasn't comfortable because we couldn't really reach each other over my stomach and hips.

So I've decided this is IT!
I REFUSE to let myself fail at this diet.
I am NOT one of those woman that thinks they are fat but only need to lose 20 lbs.
No WAY that is NOT ME!

I am one of those woman that needs to lose OVER 200 LBS!
I am depressed about it, but the truth is I can NOT get thin if I do NOT work hard, so this is my story and I plan to post about it here daily.